A meditation as part of the closing service of the Mentoring Program of the European Forum of LGBT Christian Groups in Warsaw on February 24th 2019.

Who am I?

I am finding myself in different boxes:
bigger ones, smaller ones, with corners and edges,
some with openings, some totally locked up, with no air and no light coming in.
Boxes everywhere.

Who am I?

A woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a partner, a friend.
A lesbian, a searcher, a doubting believer, a believing doubter,
a queer pastor, councellor, professional theologian, passionate acitvist,
a German, sports lover, lazy bird, non digital native, over fifty,
… old, very old…

What do all those labels and boxes tell about me?
I don´t know.
But what I know:
I feel pressure, expectations, a huge weight lying on my shoulders.
I am trying to live up to those labels and boxes.
I am trying to meet expectations.
And I feel insufficient, eshausted, small, and not fitting in.
I am not fitting in!

And when Moses saw the burning bush in the desert he asked God:
„What should I tell the people of Israel who you are?“
And God answered: „I am who I am!“

I am who I am.
I am the one talking to you.
I am staying with you, blessing you.
I am being there with you, whether you notice it or not.
I will lead you out of slavery and oppression in Egypt and elsewhere.
I am present and absent.
I am here and there,
close and far away,
feasable and beyond human understanding.
I am the power of love and liberation,
I am beyond labels, words, and human conceptions.

And I tell you:
You are who you are!
You are made in my image.
You are who you are.
A child of God being made and blessed by God.
You are who you are,
and I am what I am –
beyond boxes and labels.

And you are who you are –
beyond boxes and labels.
A child of God,
worthy, unique and blessed.
Each and everyone.
Without having to fit into boxes and labels,
without having to fulfil expectations.
Just be who you are,
and be on your way.
Because it is a lifelong journey.

And God continues:
Go, tell it to the people of Israel and beyond.
I am who I am.
And you are who you are.
A child of God,
called to love,
called to leave hatred, oppression and violence behind,
encouraged to find your own calling, and your own talents and passions,
strengthened by the love of God.
So that you can love yourself and love your neighbours.

Go in peace, and leave the boxes behind.